Meet the Staff: Squiggles



Hello, am Squiggles [ahahaha i'm changing my username again fight me]. Eggo threatened us staffmonkeys with unspeakable, wholly indecent things if we didn't write up a profile for ourselves, so here goes!

Those of you who were around during S8-9 might know me as Elroen or Captain Mittens. The one person who disappeared for extended periods of time and occasionally did marginally useful things. In the past couple years of non-staffing, I also disappeared for an extended period of time and occasionally did marginally useful things. I'm nothing if not consistent, after all. In any case, I'm gonna be here as [actually not sure yet. i'm up for pretty much any of the staff categories, though] for this server!

Now. I'm sure all of you are waiting with bated breath for juicy details about me, and, alas, I'm contractually obligated to provide them. So. By day I'm a meek, mild-mannered reporter by the name of Clark Ken- wait no that's a copyrighted character i'm sorry don't throw me in the dungeon again.

Myes. All kidding aside, I'm a former college student, having now moved on to planning for world domination. And working in the kitchen of a nearby food place, probably. I like romantic candlelit dinners and long walks on the beach. Also, hats. I have way too many of them. Gonna need someone to stage an intervention at some point. To eggo's probable dismay, I'm a horrible weeb-type person, and spend probably too much of my time watching japanese cartoons. The trashier the better. When I'm not a hopeless excuse for a human being, I also cook a lot, draw bad arts, and hunt down people to play board games with me.

I'm here because trps is generally just great. I tried a couple times to find a place with the same kind of atmosphere and community to it, and failed. It's pretty darn unique, and seeing it come back again is exciting, so I'm gonna be doing my best not to be as much of a disappointment as it does! :')

Anyways, since we were told that we could include other things, I'm gonna go plug some of the things I like now. Please comment on how bad my taste is in exhaustive detail :>
Webcomics. Several of them. xkcd for the dork content, OotS for the grand stick-figure epic, and Girl Genius for actually being amazing in basically every way. Go read all of them, in their entirety.
Books. Basically everything Pat Rothfuss and Brandon Sanderson have put out. Also Scott Lynch. Gentlemen Bastards is one of those series that, pardon the tired expression, I wasn't able to put down.
[s]Weeb shit[/s] anime. Specifically, madoka magica. Even though it's almost too cutesy at times, it has a really great blend of action and slice-of-life stuff. And Kyoko is my spirit animal, probably.

So yes. That's me. Feel free to send questions, comments and hate mail my way. But really the only last one of those.


Meet the Staff: Mellow-Cello



It’s my goddamn face, are you happy Egon?

For those of you who don’t remember me, I was Digitalians but I’m now Mellow-Cello, or Mel (or Cel, or Digi, or Carl, or Chibi McNuggets, or Casper the friendly ghost, or-). I’m 20 years old (which will be incorrect in a few months, but that’s fine) and I joined TRPS during S9 and was a part of the group for a little while before falling off the face of the planet temporarily. When I came back, the site was down and when I heard that it was going to be delayed, I figured I’d hop back on and see if I can help.

For the last two years, I’ve been trying to get my AA (which I’ll be getting at the end of this semester). I have a new girlfriend and have since moved in with her. I realized I’m asexual which, y’know, is pretty cool I suppose. I’ve gotten into a D&D campaign with some friends. I’ve quit my job (finally). Yup, that’s about it, my life isn’t exceptionally exciting I suppose.

As far as staff goes, I suppose I’ll hop into whatever is needed, but if nothing’s needed in particular, I figured I could do community staff? Those are kind of my top two right now, but we shall see. I’m adaptable.

General info time! I aspire to make stories, whether it’s through games, comics, books, or really anything at all. If I could do anything, I’d be an online content creator, but I’m getting my B.A. in computer science because that is the most practical thing I could think of. I quit my job about a month and a half ago after management changed and we were left with the worst manager in charge. I have been trying to figure out what the hell I’m doing with myself since and I suppose that’s how I ended up getting nostalgic and ending up back here. I draw, I write, I play piano, I make games that are pretty glitchy and simple so far. I sleep too much, and have two amazing cats and am getting a snake soon. I also have a deep-rooted love of theatre that is ever-present, even when I haven’t interacted with it in years. And… that’s basically it. I’m a simple person.

Current Staff


We are currently in the process of desperately recruiting more staff. If you are interested, please comment here or email egonboy(at) with the subject of Mock Me Plz. And, explain who you were and why you want to join our hard rugged staff.



Age: 30

Occupation: Site Creator / Accountant

Bio: This fucking asshole created this goddamn site. He's a loser who has never had an irl girlfriend. He probably lives with his parents with at least one cat in some city in Oregon, after he moved south from Portland due to the rent being too damn high. He works a 9 to 5 shift like some goddamn normie and has an ugly beard. He's got red hair but he's no protagonist and he'd kindly like you to knock your goddamn weeb shit off and to stop reading this garbage and go read about a worthwhile staff member.

Likes: Cats, Writing, Music, Large Boobs, Musicals, Huge Boobs, Japanese Food, Massive Boobs.

Dislikes: Weebs. Futas. Anime type shit. Silverpeppef. Your mom.

Nicknames: None



Age: 26

Occupation: Egon's Second in Command / Community Admin / Egon's Twin / Professional Dom

Bio: Egon's Twin Sister/ Brother depending on the mood Emmy is a ball of crazy hidden behind two massive boobs. But don't let the boobs fool you, she's way crazier than she is hot. Plus, she's Egon's twin so he might kill you if you tried shit. She is the site’s cow goddess who's milk nourishes the creativity of her Snake Staff. She has a girlfriend, so again don't try shit dawg. Plus, we all think she's secretly going to run off and marry silver anyway. In her real world, she's some nerd living in some house somewhere in England and dommin it up to those who are smart and rich enough to find her sweet sweet tittayz.

Likes: Cats, Bunnies, Girls named Bunny, Girls in Bunny Suits, Plowing your mom with a strap on, Silverpeppef, plowing your dad with her strap on, her Twinny, people, and you.

Dislikes: Disobedient subs, pedobears, jerks, people who are mean to her twinny, people who break the rules, Lupis, and people who don't understand humor.

Nicknames: Cow Goddess, Em, Emmy, Twinny, Boobs, Hey Boobs, Oy Boobs, KNOCK YOUR GODDAMN WEEB SHIT OFF TWINNY.



Age: 57

Occupation: Game Store Owner, That Heir Character from every Anime, Bio Admin

Bio: Silverpeppef is the only man dumb enough to live in the barren people free wasteland known as Wyoming. He owns a gameshop there and challenges kids to cardgames to steal their grandfather's cards. He's stupidly wealthy and basically lives his life like some cowboy anime. He's a weird one that rules over bio staff with an iron fist and assless chaps. He's never met a problem he couldn't solve by buying it and is happily engaged to his bodypillow waifu he keeps trying to convince us is a real girl. But honestly who'd live with the man who once made a sink grow sedience via all the mold that came to life and grew out of it. Jesus that was horrifying I still have nightmares man. Clean your fucking sink.

Likes: Horses, Cowgirls, Cowboys, Cows, Cowpies, Wind, Dirt, Nothingness, Money, Bodypillows, Futas, Futa Bodypillows, Hentai, Anime, Yugioh, Moldy Sinks, Emmy's Boobs, Hunty's Boobs, and Making Egon Cry.

Dislikes: Poor People, You, Shitty Bios, Your Shitty Bios, Other People, Cities Larger than a Population of 1, Poorly Managed Game Shops, Egon.

Nicknames: Silver, Asshole, Fucking Asshole, Peppyfrog, Seto Kaiba


TeenageDirtbag aka UsernamePending

Age: 18

Occupation: Student / Blue Mod / Community Staff / Plot Staff

BIo: This Justin Bieber looking motherfucker sings like an angel even without autotune. He sold his soul for a fantastic voice and wonderful art skills. However, the devil cursed him to be a horrible Tsundere Prince. He has a weird octopus fetish that should never be spoken of. His primary fetish, however, is pudding. He loves pudding and puddi puddi and giga pudding and just generally loves all the pudding in the world. We believe his love for Emrinne comes from his incorrect belief that her boobs are just two massive puddings. One day, he's going to become an idol singer in japan or a famous mangaka until then Egon's going to work him like he's his bitch and use his talents like some evil dictator. So enjoy talking to him now so you can say you knew him when.

Likes: Pudding, Emmy, Pudding, Cats, Pudding, Octopuses, Pudding, Singing, Pudding, Art, Pudding, Pudding, Pudding, Silver, Pudding, Boobs, Pudding, Jimbling that Jamble, Pudding, Puddi Puddi, Pudding, Giga Pudding, Pudding, and Pudding.

Dislikes: People who eat his Pudding, Egon, People who dislike cats, Food that isn't pudding.

Nicknames: Jimbo, Bieber, Younglian, PuddingFetishist, DementedOctopus, Jimblejamble, Rhubard, Ruby.



Age: 18

Occupation: Student / Community Staff / Bio Staff / Plot Staff / Professional Masturbator

Bio: Where to fucking start with this Netherlandic prick. This chronic fan of chronic and masturbation lives with his mommy in some country that sounds like it’s where the demon king came from. He spends most of his days blazed out fappin it to pics of Hunty and Emmy and occasionally, when the mood takes him, Silverpeppef, that silver fox. He eats dope ass sandwiches and occasionally fucks dope ass sandwiches. He's sometimes an emo kid but we tolerate him anyway cause his mom has some bomb ass tittayz. He's pretty chill even though every piece of electronics he owns is slowly falling apart so we never know if we are one stray cumshot away from losing contact with him forever. Or one stray knife play session from losing him to blood loss from his one man blood orgy sessions. Or maybe his dealer will just stab his dick off. Anyway, he's secretly married to Jimbo so we all wonder why he doesn't just bang him but for some reason he insists he's not gay. But we all know. And now you know too.

Likes: Jimble, Weed, Masturbation, Hentai, Futas, Blood, Sex, Anime, Shooting Games, and his mommy.

Dislikes: Being in the Closet, Having to wear pants, Fetishes he hasn't heard of.

Nicknames: Ry, Bread, Loaf, Rydon, RyHardOn and of course Jimble's Hubby.



Age: 20

Occupation: Student? / Plot Staff / Community Staff / Blue Mod

Bio: What's there to say about boobs, I mean Hunty, that hasn't already been said. When I first met hunty she told me to remove the demons from the site or she'd quit because they were a corrupting influence. AND BOY DID THEY CORRUPT. Hunty is now a secretly kinky World of Warcraft sex roleplayer. She goes by ThiccBootyElf on the server if you can find her. Clearly both her and the demons are here so she's mellowed out over time thanks to Egon's horrible corrupting aura. She's even become obsessed with Futas and hopes to one day rule over all of them as the Futa Princess. She's a huge fan of weeb shit like Sailor Moon and Tentacle Hentai. She used to be our most Normie member but now even Egon is more normie than her. Oh how the angel has fallen and become a succubi. Speaking of succubi HOLY FUCKING JESUS LOOK AT DEM TITS. She is the second bustiest member of the site and held most busty until Egon's Twin came about for this new server. So worship her as your goddess of Thiccness.

Likes: God, the Bible, Sailor Moon, Futas, Sailor Moon as a Futa, Tentacle Hentai, World of Warcraft, Silverpeppef, World of Warcraft, Murlocks, World of Warcraft, Flying Sex Snakes, MacheTress.

Dislikes: Atheists, Egon, People Obsessing Over Her Boobs, MacheTress, When her WoW subscription expires, and Demons.

Nicknames: Hunters, Pale Goddess Hunty, Super Computers, RogueHuntresss and HOLYSHIT LOOK AT DAT BOOTY



Age: 25

Occupation: Yo Daddy, Web Mistress, Community Staff

Bio: Xana was the 12th member ever of TRPS way back on S1. She knew Egon from neopets and had a major crush on him because he is so ungodly awesome. However, now she loves his twin. A heart is a fickle thing. This crazy girl is married to a boy named Thomb but we call him Thumby for short. She is one of the most talented artists you'll ever see but you'll have to put up with the fact she's totally like a sk8ergurl if you wanna convince her to draw your characters. She is the most long running member beyond Egon that’s still left and harbors a deep hatred and friendship with him. She is unfortunately a hippie dippie vegan. She's also a slytherin like Silver so I wouldn't trust her too much. She'd kill Egon if he gave her shit for all the shit she did when she was an obnoxious preteen on TRPS so he will keep this one brief but be careful she's cray cray. On the hot to crazy scale she's deep in the red of crazy. No amount of hot can salvage that much cray.

Likes: Emmy, Emmy's Boobs, Thomb Thumby Thommer, Egon, TRPS, Art, S8ing, Skating, Being a Sk8ergurl, DeviantArt, Harry Potter, Futas, Vegetables, Weeb Shit.

Dislikes: Egon, Meat, Egon's Meat, Her Past, Yo Momma Jokes.

Nicknames: Xana, Xantax, Emokid, Ishmael's Wife, Thumby's Nighttime Lover, Xammy (Her couple name with emmy)



Age: 29

Occupation: Apple Store Clerk, Singer/ Songwriter, Blue Mod, Community Staff, Plot Staff

Bio: Jaybert is the ruggedly handsome, regretfully married (sorry ladies and fellas), insanely talented weirdo that we found through reddit. He may look like a more handsome Steve from blues clues but don't let his looks throw you, he's secretly a fairly nice guy. I know these are supposed to be mocking but seriously he's a pretty stand up guy and fairly handsome. Sadly he's basically a normal person so he's fairly busy and not around as much as those of us who are broken and depend on the internet.

Likes: Music, His Wife, Korea, Appearing in Children's TV Programs, Blues Clues, Macs, Sports Games, being a Normie.

Dislikes: People Implying He's Secretly Steve From Blues Clues, JayJay the Jetplane.

Nicknames: JayJay the Jetplane.



Age: 24

Occupation: Housewife, Community Staff, Blue Mod

Bio: Something wicked this way comes and that is Jinx's bio. She is a spooky, batty, incredibly, friendly girl. She's a gamer and believes in ghosts, spirits, tarot and everything else that would make her dress like she raided a hot topic. Her hair is a never ending rainbow of changing colors and lengths like magic at random times. She's one of our friendliest members and odds are you've either met her or will meet her when she jumps on your welcome thread and cuddles you to death with her love.

Likes: Being Friendly, Ghosts, Spirits, Tarot, Bats, Cats, Twitch, Gaming, and Cuddles

Dislikes: People who run from her love, keeping her hair the same way for longer than a few days.

Nicknames: Batty, Spooky, Junxx, CuddlePrincess, Jynxx



Age: 29

Occupation: Handyman, Blue Mod, Community Staff

Bio: Our favorite soft spoken french Canadian Tharil. He is a soon to be father, and a wonderful lover. His voice is purely divine and he is one of the sites strongest supporters. He has made wood carvings, written and sung songs, and really ran the recruiting in the past. He is one of the pinnacles that everyone on community staff should aspire to be. Wait, why are these getting progressively nicer as I go through staffers. He is just a friendly soft spoken fellow that I've never seen angry. He is to be respected and loved.

Likes: Maple, Canada, Working with his Hands, Newbies, TRPS, being friendly eh?

Dislikes: Rude people, Egon hitting on him.

Nicknames: Tharil, Tharbear, Tharrious, Hanada (Handy-Canada)



Age: 20

Occupation: Navy Boy, Bio Staff

Bio: Dugar likes fuzzy Semen. Wait no he's a furry seaman. Wait no he's a furry in the navy. Wait no I'm running out of things to say about people. He's a good dog who loves you all but will eat you if you write bad bios.

Likes: Good bios, Animals, Hunty

Dislikes: Bad bios, Political Talk, Anyone who Hits on Hunty

Nicknames: Duggert. FuzzySeaman

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